I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
