im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Two words: nipple clamps
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