she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
