if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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