So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize