I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
