Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
