It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
