Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
