I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
