Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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