Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
