Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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