Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
