I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
