Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
operation have a gay friend backfired
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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