Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
