i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Randomize
