just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
