I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
