I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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