now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
