Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Its about making memories worth repressing
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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