I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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