I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
