Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
