I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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