Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
