I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
