watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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