He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
