There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
