How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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