everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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