Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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