I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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