But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize