The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
