she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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