if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've blown a few things in my day
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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