i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Two words: blizzard sex
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
