somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
