sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
