so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
