we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
