i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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