we're blogging at a bar
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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