i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
