So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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