super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
