Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
