Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dick very happy bro
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
