I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
