We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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