Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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