Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
