TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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