Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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