I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
