why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
