She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Panties = found
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